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Thank youThank you for sharing your experience. You can help keep the conversation going on social media by using #wombstoriesWhat is a miscarriage and how common are they?After my third miscarriage, several women told me about their own experiences in hushed tones. But nobody speaks openly about these things.Ssssh. Don’t mention it. Miscarriages are often talked about in hushed tones – if at all! – but are surprisingly common, affecting one in four (!) pregnancies. Technically, a miscarriage is when an embryo or foetus doesn’t survive in the uterus in the first 23 weeks of pregnancy. The majority of miscarriages can’t be prevented. But if you’re eating well, avoiding drugs and smoking, you’re already doing a lot to reduce the risk [2]. The cause isn’t usually known, although it’s often thought to be due to abnormal chromosomes (genetic building blocks) [1].Let’s start talking about miscarriage When you go through a miscarriage, you (and your partner!) often go through a range of emotions. As one woman told our #wombstories project, it can feel like “your future as you know it has been lost”. You might feel grief for the child you never knew. You might feel guilty as if you’d done something wrong. You might even ask yourselves: ‘Am I not worthy of having a child?’ Some of the emotions you have are more unexpected than others. As one woman explained, “I actually felt quite angry. Not just with myself, but with all the other mothers who seemed to have got everything they’d ever wanted.” These emotions are incredibly common, but because nobody talks about it, we tend to think we are all alone - especially now, with so many of us stuck at home, away from our loved ones. If we, as a society, instead open up about miscarriage, we can learn from and support each other through the sadness and loss. Have you been affected by miscarriage? Help us break the silence by sharing your experience at #wombstories.Signs of miscarriage – how do I know if it’s happening to me? The main symptom of a miscarriage is bleeding from the vagina, usually together with abdominal pain. If you experience vaginal bleeding and you think it might be a miscarriage, it’s always best to contact your doctor or midwife, or go to your local A&E, if you’re able to. They will carry out an examination (or an online consultation) and give you the support you need. Keep in mind, some light bleeding is common during the first three months of pregnancy.Dealing with miscarriage First of all, there’s no right or wrong way to deal with a miscarriage. Each woman’s experience is unique and each coping mechanism is different. Some women prefer to rest and take some time to consider what’s happened. Others prefer to carry on like normal, to take their mind off it. However you react, it’s important to remember that you haven’t done anything wrong. There’s no reason to feel guilty or ashamed. Talking to people close to you can help – you might be surprised at how many women have been through the same experience – so don’t be afraid of reaching out. [Sources][1] https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/miscarriage/ [2] https://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/information/miscarriage/ [3] https://www.tommys.org/our-organisation/charity-research/pregnancy-statistics/miscarriage?gclid=EAIaIQobChMImvagoqP06QIVyu7tCh1FMQA5EAAYAiAAEgIIx_D_BwESo you’re going to give birth. Becoming a parent is a truly special experience, full of excitement and happiness. But it can also be stressful and frightening – especially if you’re the one who’s carrying the baby, and even more so in these times.Your body is changing. Your emotions are fluctuating – which is understandable as you’re preparing for labour during a global pandemic. All this (and more!), while knowing that your life is about to change forever. It’s easy to see how this could be scary. Even with social distancing measures providing their own set of challenges, you can still have a completely positive birth experience. After all, you’re still in control of the choices you make. Fortunately, you’re not the only one. Everybody who goes through pregnancy and labour will experience many of the same changes and emotions.Your body changes during pregnancy The obvious changes to your body during pregnancy are hard to miss. But there’s a lot happening behind the scenes, too. From the moment you conceive, your womb, vagina and vulva start preparing for the birth of your baby. Many women find that their labia change colour and size during pregnancy. Others experience changes to the size of their vagina. This is just your body’s way of getting ready for labour; it’s all entirely natural and normal. If you end up giving birth vaginally, there might be other changes, too. Women’s bodies are designed for birth, and the vagina is built to stretch, but some tearing during labour is still very common. As one mother told our #wombstories project, “It’s like a peaceful garden, full of beautiful flowers, which is suddenly changed forever”. If you have a tear – or an episiotomy (when a cut is made to help limit the damage from natural tearing) – you may need stitches, which can change the way your vulva looks and how you experience sex. Pain or dryness is common, but luckily this improves over time and with lubricants. Many women also experience a weakening of their pelvic floor, which can impact continence. In fact, a vaginal delivery doubles or triples the chance of experiencing stress incontinence [1].Be kind to your postpartum bodySociety puts a lot of pressure on women to ‘bounce back’ after giving birth. As one woman told us, “I was surrounded by diet advice and workout tips, it felt as though I had all these expectations for my body”. But, as any new parent will tell you, ‘bouncing back’ is a ridiculous expectation. Your body has done an incredible job of carrying and birthing your baby, and now it needs time to heal. After my pregnancy I had a protruding stomach – somebody actually asked me if I was pregnant, which was obviously upsetting.Over time, your body will recover and change again. Not back to exactly how it was pre-baby, but to a new-normal for you. This might mean your vulva looks different. Or your vagina feels different. Or something else entirely. All of these changes are part of giving birth, which after all, can also change who you are and how you see the world at the deepest level. So although you might be feeling pressured to look a certain way after birth, remember that you made a baby. This is your time to look after yourself and nurture your body, embracing all the changes that are a result of the little life you created. As one mother told us, “Being a mother is a beautiful thing, we shouldn’t look at our stretch marks as something we’re ‘left with’, but something that we have earned.”We couldn’t have put it better! If you have birth story you’d like to share, help us break the stigma around childbirth by sharing your experience using #wombstories.[Sources][1] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1472678/Chances are, you’ve started to feel your body going through a bit of a transformation. This is just part of a new chapter in your life known as puberty and one of the biggest changes that you will experience is your first period. So let’s take a little look at what menstruation is and what you can expect from it. Puberty is all about growing up. It is an important part of everyone’s life that brings plenty of new experiences, including first periods. It can feel like a lot – there will be changes to how you feel and to how your body looks and works! But if you’re getting anxious about it, remember you’re not on your own. Menstruation is completely natural process and is something that many of us will go through at some point. After a few months, you’ll be taking your periods in your stride. But until then, learning more about what menstruation means can help to put your mind at ease and prepare for what’s next!What is a period (menstruation)?When you start puberty, your menstrual cycle kicks off. This means that every few weeks the lining of your uterus (which is in the lower part of your tummy, in a place called the womb) gets thicker with tissue and your ovaries release an egg (called an ovum). One of two things can happen from this point: if a sperm fertilises the egg (usually through having unprotected sex), the tissue in the uterus stays there to provide a home for a baby. But if the egg isn’t fertilised, then that extra tissue that is not needed gets released through your vagina, along with mucus and other vaginal fluids. This is basically the process of menstruation –or what is commonly known as getting a period.Why do girls have periods? Periods are Mother Nature’s way of letting us know our bodies are grown enough to have babies. But this doesn’t mean you have to become a parent right now, or ever! It's likely you have plans like studying, traveling, and having different kinds of adventures before you decide to bring new members to your family. Many people have children until much later on in their lives. There’s lots of options out there and it’s not a decision you have to take yet, getting your period just means that you may be able to have kids one day if you want to.What is the average age to start your period?Most girls start getting signs of their first period between the ages of 10 and 16. [1] There is no such thing as “the right age” for menstruation to begin because everyone is different. So in the same way that you may have grown your first tooth at a different pace than your friends or siblings (sooner or later), you will get your period when your body is ready.Can you get your first period faster?Waiting for your first period can be frustrating, especially if you feel like all of your friends have already got theirs. But it’s not a competition or a race to the finish line! Everyone goes through puberty at different times and we can’t really force our bodies into a process that happens naturally, so try to be kind and patient with yourself.And while there are no ways to guarantee that your period will come faster, looking out for the signs that it is on its way can help you prepare for the big day.What are the signs and symptoms of your first period?Some signs and symptoms are quite easy to spot. For instance, if your breasts or pubic hair have been growing, or you have noticed discharge in your underwear, then it won’t be long before your first period.Another clue is if you experience premenstrual syndrome (PMS), which causes symptoms like period pain, mood swings, bloating, backache and skin break outs. And while this may not sound particularly exciting, periods shouldn’t stop you from getting out and doing what you want. There are plenty of ways that you can deal with period pain and other PMS symptoms such as eating healthily, exercising regularly and even taking over-the-counter painkillers if you need a little extra relief.What does your first period look like?When some people think of their first period, they may imagine it to be bright red blood – similar to when you prick your finger with a needle or pick a scab. However, the colour of menstrual blood is usually slightly darker and more of a dull, brownish red. Your first period in particular may be especially brown in colour and not last very long. This can be a bit of a surprise and you could be asking yourself questions such as “Is that it?” or “Was that actually a period or something else?”. But it’s perfectly normal!So, if you’ve experienced some of the signs and symptoms above and have also found some brown spots in your underwear, then congratulations – this is most probably your first period! Keep in mind that your monthly flows will change in length, colour and amount as you keep growing up, but you don’t need to do much about it – just let your body work its magic.If you’re feeling slightly anxious by the arrival of your first period or are just curious about menstruation in general, doing your own research online and asking friends, family, or even teachers about their own experiences can help put your mind at ease. The more you understand about your body, the better! Your first period is a big milestone, but it shouldn’t worry or stress you out – think of it as a natural sign of you growing up.If you want to continue learning, why not read our articles on how much bleeding is normal during a period and how long does a period last?Medical disclaimerThe medical information in this article is provided as an information resource only and is not to be used or relied on for any diagnostic or treatment purposes. Please consult your doctor for guidance about a specific medical condition.[References][1] https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/periods/starting-periodsYou’ve probably heard it mentioned, but what exactly is endometriosis? The endometrium is another word for the lining of the womb that gets shed every month as part of the menstrual flow. Endometriosis is a condition where tissue similar to the type that grows inside the womb starts growing elsewhere in the body. The body will try to get rid of the tissue but because it has nowhere to go, it can cause a lot of serious pain. Women have described it like “a demon tearing its way out of my pelvis” and “an elephant wearing stilettos, stomping on my womb”. The misplaced tissue is often found growing in the ovaries, fallopian tubes, inside the lining of the abdomen and even in the bowel or bladder [1]. However the effects that it can have aren’t just physical. “For me, endometriosis has taken its toll both mentally and emotionally”, one woman told us. This is especially difficult given the current world situation, which has made getting access to treatments more challenging than usual.What causes endometriosis?Genetics and certain toxins in the environment [2] are possible causes of endometriosis. There are also issues that put you at a greater risk, like a history of pelvic infection or something known as retrograde menstruation. That’s a condition where your period blood starts going ‘backwards’ – rather than out of the vagina, it flows back through the fallopian tubes and into the pelvic cavity. This blood contains endometrial cells, which then stick to the pelvic walls and to other organs, where they continue to thicken and bleed during each menstrual cycle.The signs and symptoms of endometriosisThe signs and symptoms of endometriosis are varied – some women might be badly affected, while others might have very few noticeable symptoms, or none at all! [3] The symptoms range from extreme tiredness and frequent thrush infections to infertility.Your period and endometriosis When you’re on your period, the body instructs all endometrium tissue to start shedding. If you’ve got endometriosis, the tissue outside of the uterus doesn’t have anywhere to go (unlike period tissue, which comes out through the vagina with your flow). This leads to irregular and super heavy periods as well as inflammation and extreme pain in the tummy and pelvis. In some cases, it leads to scars or cysts. Endometriosis pain Another symptom of endometriosis is pain. It might be pain in your lower tummy or back that gets worse during your period, during or after having sexual relation with your husband, intense period pain that stops you from doing your normal daily activities, when peeing or pooping during your period. You may even feel sick, or experience constipation, diarrhea or blood in your pee during your period. These can all be scary things to notice, but it’s just your body letting you know that something is going on that needs your attention.It drove me crazy. I wondered how it was possible to be so sick all the time, all these symptoms happening at once. How is endometriosis treated?Although endometriosis is a chronic condition (which means it persists for a long time) there are ways to manage it. Over-the-counter anti-inflammatories, like ibuprofen, are often used to manage pain. The combined contraceptive pill can help too, by stopping eggs from being released, making periods lighter and less painful [1]. In terms of surgical treatments, key-hole surgery may improve symptoms and fertility [1], while some women may eventually decide to have a hysterectomy, which means removing the womb [1]Getting an endometriosis diagnosisEndometriosis can come with many different symptoms and take years to diagnose – the average is 7.5(!) [4] Some women with endometriosis suffer with a variety of symptoms that can be difficult to manage, and get in the way of living their lives to the fullest. That’s why for some, a diagnosis can actually be a source of relief. As one woman put it, “I finally had a name for my pain. A name for the debilitating cramps that came every single month.”The only way to fully diagnose endometriosis is through a key-hole camera investigation of your pelvic area. But before this point, you may have external examinations, internal examinations, scans and blood tests – or a combination.Reaching out and getting supportAlthough women everywhere are affected by endometriosis, many aren’t getting the support they need. This is because the condition often goes undiagnosed or, when it is diagnosed, it’s misperceived as ‘really bad period pain’. As a result, women often feel like they’re being ignored and their pain isn’t being taken seriously. This can lead to feeling isolated and like you’re the only one. But with 176 million women (one in 10) affected worldwide, you’re not alone [4]. Reach out to friends and family, even if it feels like an awkward subject. Talking about it will help, and you might even have people close to you with first-hand experience of endometriosis. Not only will they know what you’re going through, but they can help you to get the support you need from your doctor. If you recognise the symptoms and suspect that you have it, book an appointment with your doctor or gynaecologist to find out more. They’ll explore ways to ease your pain and help you cope with the symptoms. Understandably, current government guidelines mean waiting times for appointments and surgeries may be longer than usual. If it's difficult for you to visit your doctor at the moment, consider asking for a phone or video consultation instead.Do you have personal experience with endometriosis? We believe that our stories need to be heard – share your story with us at #Wombstories Survey.[References][1] https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/endometriosis/treatment/[2] http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Endometriosis/Pages/Causes.aspx[3] https://endometriosis-uk.org/sites/default/files/files/Information/Understanding-endometriosis.pdf[4] https://endometriosis-uk.org/endometriosis-facts-and-figuresWhat is fertility treatment? To most people, fertility treatment means one thing: IVF (in vitro fertilisation). But it actually encompasses a wide range of procedures to do with having a child.This could be treatment for couples who haven’t been able to conceive; treatment to prevent the transmission of genetic conditions; or treatment to preserve the fertility of someone who is transgender. They might have been trying to become parents without success for a long time. So, when it works, fertility treatment can often feel like a miracle. Right now, many people around the world have had to put their plans on hold due to government guidelines on social distancing. Fertility treatments require frequent visits to your specialist - things like ultrasounds and monitoring - so the risk of exposure to other people is much higher. This can be tough to accept, given the overall unpredictability of infertility treatment at the best of times, especially if you have already been on a long and difficult journey.In vitro fertilisation (IVF)The most well-known type of fertility treatment is IVF. This process involves fertilising an egg outside of the body, to be implanted into the womb. The first IVF baby was born in 1978. Since then, more than 8 million babies have been born as a result of this treatment [1]. IVF can be carried out with a woman’s own egg or a donated egg. In some cases, women have frozen their own eggs and go on to use them later through IVF. The success of IVF varies from person to person, and is impacted by their individual situation and age. Generally, the older you are, the harder it gets. For women under 35 using their own egg, there’s a 3 in 10 chance that it will lead to a baby, whereas for women over 44, it’s 1 in 50[2]. These odds can be frustrating. One woman shared her journey going through four FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer) cycles. “It took nearly 18 months of experiencing one failure after another to actually receive a real infertility diagnosis: unexplained fertility.” Because the chances of having a baby through IVF are relatively slim, women often end up going through many rounds of expensive, physically-demanding treatment. This makes it an incredibly stressful process, for them and their partner. IVF can be an isolating experience, too. In the words of Michelle Obama on her own struggle to conceive, “We sit in our own pain, thinking that somehow we’re broken. That’s one of the reasons why I think it’s important to talk. I think it’s the worst thing we do to each other as women, not share the truth about our bodies and how they work, and how they don’t work.” [3]Stop the stigma around fertility treatment Even though fertility treatment has helped millions of babies to be born, there is still stigma out there. Women can feel like they’re being blamed for being unable to get pregnant naturally. Or that getting pregnant with fertility treatment isn’t as good because it’s not natural.It makes me feel weak - this idea that somehow my body is betraying me.As a result of these untrue (and unkind) beliefs, some women are made to feel that they are a failure. They feel like they haven’t been able to fulfil their most basic biological function. Then, if they go on to get treatment, they feel that they’ve gone against what’s natural. Becoming a parent should be open to everyone. Despite social distancing measures putting many women’s fertility treatments on hold, we are still lucky to live in a world where medical advances give women the chance to have children. That should be celebrated, not stigmatised. If you’re experiencing, or have experienced, fertility treatment and want to share your thoughts and feelings on it, you can by using #wombstories. [Sources][1] https://www.hfea.gov.uk/media/2894/fertility-treatment-2017-trends-and-figures-may-2019.pdf [2] https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/ivf/ [3] https://eu.usatoday.com/story/life/people/2018/11/09/michelle-obama-miscarriage-ivf-children-pregnancy-robin-roberts-gma/1940485002/The change of lifeWhy is the menopause, this completely natural process so shrouded in mystery? There is a prejudice that menopause signals a great loss: of fertility, sexuality, youth and even womanhood. But this couldn’t be further from reality. It is simply your body entering a new stage of life. It’s just like menstruation, it’s a totally natural process. We’ll talk through what age it usually starts at, the symptoms and signs of menopause as well as possible treatment.So what is menopause exactly? The menopause is when you stop ovulating due to a fall in the levels of estrogen and progesterone in your body. But it’s also a collection of symptoms and changes that a woman goes through just before or just after she stops menstruating for good. It can be a tricky time to deal with emotionally – some people may be glad they don’t have to deal with periods anymore, while others might feel sad that they will no longer have their menstrual cycle. Whatever you’re feeling, it’s absolutely normal.What are the first signs of menopause? The first signs of menopause happen in the time known as ‘perimenopause’ when the body displays various symptoms such as hot flushes, night sweats, and erratic menstrual flow. The first sign of the menopause is usually a change in the pattern of your menstrual cycle, and you may experience irregular periods. It can be disorientating when you first notice your body and cycle changing, but it’s not something to worry about, or that you can stop. Think of it as beginning a new chapter in your life and talk to your friends and family about it. You might be surprised how much it helps to share your experience. Always remember that if you are struggling with the symptoms of perimenopause, it’s always worth checking in with your doctor for advice.One night, I woke up at 3am, boiling hot. It was like nothing I had ever experienced before.When does menopause start? The menopause is a gradual process that tends to happen in stages. It can begin as early as 40 or as late as 60, with the average age being 51 [1]. Menopause can happen at a range of ages and can even be medically induced at any age as part of the treatment of certain diseases.Are you in pre-menopausal or post-menopausal or just approaching this new phase of your life? We are stronger when we share our stories, so we'd like to hear your experiences in our #wombstories.When do periods stop? Perimenopause symptoms typically start a few months or even years before your periods stop and continue for around four years afterwards [1]. It’s important to note that periods don’t just turn off one day – our bodies are not faucets, after all! The reality is more gradual. You may experience substantial period bleeding, where your flow becomes uncharacteristically heavy. Or your periods may become much lighter and more intermittent. You may have a period every two or three weeks, or not have one for months at a time. Though this can be unnerving, especially if you’re used to your regular cycle, remember that all this is natural process, and nothing to worry too much about.Taking the menopause in your strideJust like menstruation, menopause is a totally natural process that should be embraced. No longer having to deal with the hassle of periods and PMS is a great relief for many women. As a result, the menopause can be a source of liberation, making you feel like you’re entering a new era of confidence and feeling at home in your body. As one woman told us, “I prefer the lesser known term ‘second spring’, because that’s what it is for me - a time for new growth”. Despite this, it can be tricky to navigate, emotionally and physically. But knowing what it entails means you can take it in your stride.What are the ongoing symptoms of menopause? When you first notice changes that may be menopausal, it’s important to talk to your doctor, so you can have a blood test for confirmation and get advice so you feel prepared to cope with everything that the menopause might throw at you. The most typical menopausal symptoms include hot flushes, night sweats, irritability, sleep disturbances and vaginal dryness. Some women experience light incontinence, meaning they might notice a few drops of pee from time to time. But there are lots of other signs, too, such as dizziness, bloating, weight gain, mood swings, headaches and loss of libido. It can sound like a lot to deal with but know that you won’t have to deal with all the symptoms all at once. Going through the symptoms of menopause is completely normal as your body adjusts to the changing balance of hormones. If you’re navigating menopause symptoms, we encourage you to let your family and friends know – it can help to know you have people there to vent to, laugh with and ask for support from if you need it.What treatment is there for menopause?The menopause can be an emotionally trying time, but it can also be a relief to no longer have to deal with the hassle of periods and PMS. Some people even find they feel more confident and at ease in their own skin when they are postmenopausal.While some get no symptoms, most people experience at least one symptom, or a combination of a few. If this is you, you don’t need to go through it all in silence, or without support. Many people find regular exercise to be beneficial in reducing symptoms, while acupuncture and hypnotherapy have both been found to be effective in tackling hot flushes and insomnia. In the past, HRT or hormone replacement therapy was the standard treatment, but recent research has linked this to breast cancer, blood clots and strokes, so it’s wise to talk things through with your doctor and ask what they recommend [2].Post-menopausal life – what happens? With menopause symptoms, it’s different for everybody. For some, they could last 4 years after your last period, but for others it could be much longer. Everyone’s body adjusts in their own time, so it’s not something you can change or should worry about.Mentions of menopause don’t have to be overwhelming – get help accessing support through the International Menopause Society or discuss it with a friend who went through this phase or even with your doctor. Have you personally gone through the menopause? We believe that our stories need to be heard, so we can listen, learn and support each other. If you’d like to, why not share your story with us in our #wombstories survey.[Sources][1] https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/menopause/ [2] http://www.webmd.com/menopause/features/hormone-replacement-therapy [3] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/28281363

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Explore our #wombstories

Why Opening Up About Miscarriage Matters & How To Deal With It

Giving Birth – What Can You Really Expect?

Endometriosis - All You Need To Know, Causes, Symptoms & Treatments

In Vitro Fertilization Treatment

Menopause Symptoms - Signs & Treatments