Be your own best friend

Maya: “A couple of years ago, I decided to become my own best friend. I thought if I like myself so will other people. The result has been that I now have a much better relationship with the people around me. But it’s my relationship with myself that’s the most important.”

So what’s Maya’s secret? Becoming your own best friend requires long-term commitment and a good deal of work. Here are a few tips to help you along the way.

• Make a list of your positive qualities. Every week try to highlight a positive quality. Three times a day repeat the quality to yourself 20 times, for example “I am an out-going person.” For best results say it out loud to yourself when you’re sitting comfortably with your eyes closed. This technique also works well in improving at something, such as, being more positive towards your boyfriend. “For each day that passes I will become better at giving compliments to my boyfriend.”
• Put aside one day a week for yourself. Do something you like - read a book, bake, work out. The important thing is to do it alone. Dispel negative thoughts by saying “I’m doing this because it’s something I want to do.”
• Set challenges – go to movies alone, take a course where you don’t know anyone, go for a walk, to a football game or a concert. The important thing is to do it alone. Doing something that feels just a little too hard is good for your self-confidence. You can do more than you think!
• Buy yourself a present. Why wait for someone else to do it? You deserve to be rewarded after having worked out a little harder, made that difficult phone call or tidied up at home.
• Socialize with people who make you feel good. Sometimes you can be around people that make you feel bad about yourself. You deserve better; you’re a grown-up and you deserve to feel good and have fun.

Good luck!